Why is it so confusing and difficult to buy a train ticket or bus ticket and take an hour trip and have a good time and meet someone you’ve been meaning to meet for about 6 years. *sigh* I don’t understand… I never will. Maybe if you told me your feelings I could understand but no…. you decided to build a fortress inside you and when I try to open the gate, you just build another layer. You’ve made, what was the easiest part with others, seem an impossible phenomenon that I feel I’ll never see with my own eyes…. I guess I can sleep now… knowing the outcome tomorrow. I actually believed you were coming for once…..
What’s worse is when you say that I mean everything to you, that you love me with all your heart, etc and then you say ” OH MY GOD. I think they’re all guys, and they’re all delicious. I came home this afternoon to 6 of them, playing basketball and skateboarding in front of our houses. I’d take any of them in a heartbeat ;) .. especially one. This could very well, quite possibly turn into a good school year.” That’s telling me you don’t give a shit that we are or were together, that it was a lie and that you would really just toss it aside for some random guy you just met. There is no other reason someone would, in their right mind, say that unless the person they were with didn’t mean anything. I’m sorry but it’s true. This is why our situation feels like this.
I need sleep, longest day ever and it’s almost 2 AM.
So fix your shit, get your act together and figure out if I mean a God-damn thing to you.